Capture Your Grief - Day 1 & 2

Yesterday I realized just how hard this month leading up to Violet's first birthday would be for me.  We did some preschool activities, ran our morning errands, went to library story time, then I came home and sat down for lunch and cried and cried.  Sometimes I am shocked that I can so easily and unintentionally escape the grief by doing every day things, then I feel bad that they distracted me from something so huge.

My daughter.  Died.

I saw a few of my fellow baby loss mommas participating in Carly Marie's Capture Your Grief Project.  The idea is to post an assigned picture a day for the month of October to focus your grief and unite since October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  What a perfect way to navigate my grief until her birthday.

Day 1: Sunrise

This photo is actually one Karen pulled over and took on her drive to the hospital the day that Violet was born.  There is so much hope and beauty captured here and the same calmness that filled our days during our time with Violet.  

Day 2: Before Loss Self Portrait

I think often about the simplicity of who I was before.  But this picture, while not before the grief, is before the loss.

The last few minutes that she was safe inside of me before my c-section.