A friend who I don't get to talk to often messaged me today. She told me that she was thinking of our story, about Violet, about our pain and grief. She told me that it was making her cry, but she thought I'd want to know.
I do.
There is nothing better than knowing that other people think about my girl. In the early days, I would occasionally get a text of a picture of something that reminded someone of her. As with anything else, this now happens less as more time passes. I can feel like I'm the only person in the whole world who still thinks of her. I know in my head that that's not true, but it can feel that way.
I love when people ask about her the same way they ask about E and D. I love to compare the pregnancies and their birth stats, their hair color, their sizes. Basically any part of Violet that I got to experience, I'd love to share if someone asks. I walk around every day wanting to say her name but it's caught on my lips so that I don't make conversations awkward.
I don't always want to be the mother of the baby who died. But I am. So I love the chance to talk about her. And I love knowing that you still think of her and smile or cry or miss her.
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