Violet's Story: 20 Week Ultrasound & Anatomy Scan

The Fourth of July 2011 is my last truly happy memory of Violet's pregnancy.  We were at a cookout surrounded by friends who were feeling her kick in my belly and making their final guesses about her gender.

Two years ago today, we were ecstatic to go find out if our second baby was a boy or a girl.  Because the pregnancy had different symptoms than E's, I thought we were having a boy.  When we dropped E off with her grandmother, we excitedly explained to her when we picked her up we'd know if she was getting a brother or a sister.

We were actually a bit past the typical 20 weeks mark for our anatomy scan.  They immediately told us that she was a girl (and I was thrilled!) then went on to take a very long time measuring her heart and her head.  It didn't register for me to be concerned about this until later.

Since we had an appointment with our midwife right after the ultrasound, Mr. SPS and I returned to the waiting room between to let the news of our second daughter set in.

He said he had always imagined himself with a son and a daughter.  I explained that we didn't have to stop with two kids.  We could have one more to try for a boy.  He agreed, but pointed out that he had always seen himself with only two kids.  I said I've always seen myself with three.  Now, all of these scenarios are true.  We have three kids total; he has two, his son and his daughter, here with him.

At our appointment our midwife explained that Violet had a two vessel cord so we would be referred over to Maternal Fetal Medicine for a follow up ultrasound.  We had been sent there twice with E to double check other small markers which turned out to be nothing so I still wasn't concerned.  The midwife also mentioned that Violet was showing a cyst in her brain and some other markers but she seemed upbeat about it.  I was still so ecstatic about finding out that she was a girl that I kept telling myself that E had markers, too, and everything had been fine.  Surely Violet was fine as well.

We picked E up, told her and my mother-in-law that the happy news that she would have a sister, then started the drive home.  On the way, I called my mom to tell her about her new granddaughter, but while on the phone something happened.  I started crying, saying that I just wanted a stress free pregnancy (E's hadn't been either.  After discovering her markers, I joined a few forums online where again all the babies were born healthy, but I worried until she was in our arms.)

Mr. SPS went back to work.  E was down for her nap and I started searching the internet for other babies who had the markers that Violet had but were born healthy.  I found none.  In the cool AC of our basement, I realized that something was wrong, very, very wrong.  I messaged Mr. SPS who was at work, simultaneously searching for information online and coming to the same realization.

Maternal Fetal Medicine called us that same day (another bad sign) to schedule our follow up with them for the following Tuesday, which was four days away.

The pieces were starting to come together, but we had one weekend left of savoring the possibility that our daughter might live.