Dear Dental Hygienist

Dear Dental Hygienist,

Thank you for allowing me to talk about Violet without shutting down or ending the conversation.  This doesn't happen often.

In fact, just yesterday at MY dentist appointment, my dentist asked how many kids we have.  I answered with three so she asked their ages.  I said Violet was two and a half days when she died.  The dentist and hygienist at that appointment clammed up and stopped talking without as much as an, "I'm sorry."  I laid there as they continued with the appointment thinking about how I always say two and a half days.  That extra half of a day is SO important to me when our girl wasn't expected to live possibly at all.  Responses like the silence I was met with for the rest of my appointment make me question sharing my girl with the world which I am aching to do.

At E's appointment today, though, you saw D and asked how E was adjusting to being a big sister.  I avoided the entirely honest response to this topic a bit by answering with a simple, "She's great with him."  The conversation naturally carried on and Violet worked her way in again (persistent little girl that she is).  I explained that E had another younger sibling who had died after two days.  For this reason, she has been an even better sister to D.  She was just so happy to have him in our home, joining our family for longer than Violet could.

You didn't know you were asking a loaded question.  No one does.  And I never know how I'm going to answer.  It depends on the day.  It depends on my energy, the time, my emotions.

Thank you for continuing to talk with me about her.  Thank you for almost crying.  Thank you for respectfully and compassionately asking about her diagnosis and defects.  I wish we could have talked longer.  I gave you one of her RAOK cards with this blog address. I hope you come here and read about how you helped make my whole day better by allowing me to share ALL of my children with you today.  Thank you for looking at her picture and hearing her name and saying they were both beautiful.

The world needs more simple kindness like yours.

Love,
Violet's Momma