- Leave your question(s) in the comments asking literally anything and I promise to answer it to the best of my ability.
- You may ask more than one question. You may ask follow up questions after my answer.
- Your questions can be directed to me, E, or even Mr. SPS (though he may choose not participate). You may also ask anything about D or Violet, but of course, I'll be doing my best to answer for them!
- You may ask about our family, parenting, education, topics I've written about, something completely random, something you've always wondered, ANYthing.
- If you ask an advice question, I may use if for our Guidance Office feature.
- Similarly, if your question prompts a lengthy response, I may use it as its own blog post.
- Please don't worry about offending me as that doesn't happen easily.
- If the answer to your question is too personal to publish, I will answer you privately via email.
In exchange, I'd love to know which of our features or topics are your favorites (Show & Tell, educational activities, giveaways, art/crafts, recipes, grief work, infant development, etc.) or what you'd like to see me write about more often (new topics, elaborations on past posts, something completely different).
As always, your comments will have to be moderated before they appear so you won't see them right away. (I only do this in case someone we know IRL comments with one of the kids' names instead of their initials. Well, and to prevent spam.)
Our view on birth prevention changed with Eva's death and the realization of the sheer eternity of our children's lives. How, if at all, has your view on birth control changed (or not) since you now have two kids here and one in heaven?
ReplyDeleteMy fave things to read about on your blog are Violet and your educational ideas for E. I also enjoy your thoughts about D and infant development. I would say your blog is one of my favourites. It's a good fit, shall we say, for my family. Children similar ages. Interest in education. Child in heaven and grieving said child.
We truly thought we would be finished having kids after two (I'll be blogging about this conversation soon), but obviously when Violet passed away, we knew we'd try for one more and we had D. If Violet would have survived, I don't think we would have tried for a boy, but I could be wrong.
DeleteNow I'd really like a fourth, or third here with us. Mr. SPS is satisfied being finished especially with the stress that a rainbow pregnancy brings. Even though we aren't carriers, we still had extra ultrasounds, MFM visits, etc. D's pregnancy was not easy on me with pre-term contractions and 3 pregnancies and c-sections within 3 years.
Still I asked my OB after D's delivery if she would recommend we stop or if we could try again (based on my scarring from surgery) and she said we could certainly have another if we waiting 2 to 3 years before getting pregnant (which I would want to do anyway).
I hate how society (and random strangers) say that we have the perfect family now that we have one of each. They don't know, of course, but it'll NEVER be perfect without Violet. I also hate how they won't understand us trying for one more as much as they would if we had two girls or two boys instead of one of each.
So no permanent measures have currently been taken. It's obviously an emotional conversation when it comes up between my husband and me. Part of me thinks I will always more because I will always be wanting Violet back, truly. I also come from a much larger family than him.
We've agreed to not get rid of the essential baby things and to put the conversation on hold until D is older and I'm less emotional.
I love your blog, too, so much! It is truly one of my top five favorites!
How do you choose names for your children? It is a coincidence that both E and V have V's in their name or is it intentional?
ReplyDeleteIt is intentional that all of our kids have classic, easy to spell, traditional names.
DeleteIt is NOT intentional that they share so many letters or that their initials spell the beginning of my name. :)
Mr. SPS picked E's name out of the blue while we were on vacation. It was one of the only girl name we agreed on.
Violet's name came to us while E was playing with an alphabet app on my phone the weekend before we learned her diagnosis. It said, "V, violet," and I said to Mr. SPS, "What about Violet?" and that was that. I did find myself picking a lot of V names for her.
D was always our boy name from E's pregnancy on so it was a given.
E already has a future girl name picked out and we have a few other boys' names in the wings, but they would not continue to spell my name.
I was wondering what kind of camera you use. Your pictures always look so great!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I do love when you write about V things. It helps my own grieving momma heart. You often write things that resonate within my own self & it helps me to know I'm not alone in the process.
Mr. SPS says:
DeleteCanon 5D Mark III with a 430EX II flash and a 50mm F/1.4 lens
Where did you grow up?
ReplyDeleteI grew up in western Pennsylvania in a very small coal mining town surrounded by corn fields. I can't emphasize "very small" enough. We had to drive 45 minutes to get to the nearest mall!
DeleteInteresting :-)
DeleteI can see how FRUSTRATING it would be to have people say you have the perfect family. What if you only had 2 girls? When I was pg with Nathan I thought that once he was born our family would feel more 'whole' again. But it didn't. Eva's spot was still empty, even though Nathan filled her carseat.
ReplyDelete