A Letter to my 9 Month Old Son

Dear D,

You are 9 months old!  For your oldest sister I wrote a letter like this every month of her first year.  I am sorry that I haven't kept up that tradition for you, but I hope that our life instead has been a testament that you are getting the same love and devotion in actions if not written words.

Things are changing so fast lately that I need to record it somewhere.  In the last month, you've learned to crawl, pull up to a stand, sit back down, and now you're starting to try to cruise around.  You are signing your own version of "more" and "all done."  You imitate back the sounds that we make.  I am so excited for you to be able to communicate more with us!

Sleep is still tricky, but with you, I am more relaxed.  I know that every change is two steps forward and one step back.  Sleep regressions are frustrating, but temporary.  With your sister, I worried about creating hard to break habits.  With you, I know that this time that you will need me for sleep is all too fleeting so I am soaking it up, sleepless nights and all.  I love when we can nap together and you are still lulled to sleep by the sound of my beating heart as I wear you.

This part isn't about you, but it's a reminder to my future self and other mommas: The baby weight takes nine months to put on and nine months to come off.  Without even trying, while breastfeeding something magical happens at this nine month mark.  It happened after E, too.  Suddenly one day I realize that I have my body back.  I still have that momma tummy (which I wouldn't trade for my kids) but I look like myself in pictures again.

Besides breast feeding which you still adore (and I do, too!) you love eating food.  You are quite good at "chewing" and you refuse bites until you're finished with the first one.  You love spices.  Curry is your favorite!

Your sister loves to chase you as you crawl pretending that she's a spider and you're a fly.  She tells you that she's "gonna get you!" and then once she does, she explains, "I'm not really a spider, D.  Don't be scared.  I'm a human!"  I love watching the two of you laughing in backseat of the car.  She may snatch toys away from you, but we're working on that.  She makes up for it by singing you songs.  The other day she woke Daddy up by telling him, "I just love having a brother!"

You are my "high needs" baby, but I need you just as much.  You are giving me a gift of time as you asking me to slow down, clear our calendar, and enjoy you as our baby.

Before you were born, I couldn't imagine having a son, but really what I couldn't picture was the joy you would bring me.  I knew a rainbow baby would help ease the ache in my arms to hold your sister Violet.  I needn't have worried about the overlap of the two of you.  You are truly your own person and she hers.  My love for you, as well as for E and V, is separate yet eternally molded together. 

Happy nine months, baby boy!

Love,
Momma