Chace: 13 Stories of Trisomy 13

Ashley introduces her son Chace in this continuation of our series on 13 Babies with Trisomy 13.

Who do you share your life with?

I share my life with my wonderful husband Stephen (we have been married for 5 years), my AMAZING 3 year old son Ian (who is absolutely the love of my life), and Lola our dog (who is so darn cute if I may add)!

Can you introduce us to your baby? What would you most want us to know about him?

My baby angel Chace Andrew was born April 10th 2013. He passed away when I was 7 months along. He weighed 1 1/2 pounds and was 16 in long. What I want people to know most about him was how beautiful he was and how much we LOVED him! I just hope he knows that!

Can you tell me a bit about how you learned he had Trisomy 13?

I first learned about Trisomy 13 after they did the autopsy on my son Chace. They were trying to figure out if it was Trisomy 13 or 18 but the final conclusion was 13.

What was his birth like?

Chace's birth started on the evening of April 8th and went into the morning of April 10th. I was induced and had a vaginal birth. My first son was a c section for I was so nervous that this one was going to be also but I held out and once they broke my water everything moved along quickly. Emotionally I was beside myself. I didn't know what to expect. I kept thinking I am going through all of this pain and I won't even be able to take him home with me!! In the room was my nurse, my midwife, my best friend Anna, and my husband Stephen.

Chace's birth was the most intimate moment. Everyone in the room was crying and I held him immediately! I remember just looking at him thinking how much he looked like Ian when he was born. This was BY FAR the hardest moment in my life!

How was your time with him?

My time with him was emotional. We had the Chaplin come bless him and say a prayer. We held him and had some pictures taken. Saying goodbye as I was released from the hospital was a experience I can not even explain. I felt like I was leaving him behind.

What did you choose for memorials?

As a memorial was had a funeral service at our church and Chace was cremated and sits on our mantel in his urn.

What supports did you have in helping you make these choices?
My biggest supporter was my husband Stephen. He was my rock and brought us closer together.

My 2nd biggest supporter was my best friend Anna. She was there every minute! I can not thank her enough for the support and love!!

All my life I have been close with my mom and sister but for some reason during this whole death of my son they were there for me the least.  They needed me to help them with their feelings and I couldn't. I was dealing with my own. They felt that someone was to blame and the were more angry about it so I pushed them away. I couldn't deal with that type of negativity at that time.

How long has it been since you held your sweet baby?

It has been 10 months and 3 days since I last held my baby boy! Miss him so much!

Where are you in your grief journey today?

My grief journey today is getting better.  A few months ago I use to cry every time I thought of him or heard a certain song on the radio or if someone asked me about it all but now I feel like I can think of him and smile. I am so proud and grateful to have had him in my life even though it was a short time!! I feel like my husband and I are ready to try for our rainbow!! My son Ian is 3 1/2 years old and is ready to be a big brother again!

What advice would you give to other bereaved parents?

The only advice I can give someone going through the same thing is you are stronger then you think you are. Cling tight to your loved ones and give yourself ALL the time you need to grieve and its ok to talk about your baby angel. even if people don't seem to want to listen!