Hallie: 13 Stories of Trisomy 13

Following Hallie Green's time with her family over the Christmas season of 2011 was heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time!  The Green family did a tremendous job sharing valiant Hallie with the world.  Today Katie joins us to add Hallie's story to our series of 13 Babies with Trisomy 13.

Who do you share your life with?

I share my life with my husband, Chris, and daughters Bella (6), Farrah (4) and Juliane (about 8 months)

Can you introduce us to your baby? What would you most want us to know about her?
Our daughter, Hallie Lynn, was born December 19th, 2011. She changed us forever. She was loved. 

Can you tell me a bit about how you learned she had Trisomy 13?

At an appointment around 13 weeks, our ultrasound tech saw that Hallie had some markers for a genetic disorder. I went immediately to a high rise doctor at the next building and she confirmed the same. We could see her heart better and that it also had possible problems. I had a CVS done the next day and Trisomy 13 was confirmed a few days later.

What was her birth like?

I had two previous vaginal births and planned on the same with Hallie, although I was questioning myself on that. She was small (4 lbs 15oz) and I knew it should be fairly easy because my other babies were twice as big. The night I went in to be induced (at 39 weeks), Hallie was turned transverse. (across my belly and upside down.) The doc turned her three times the next morning, and she would turn right back. So we had a c-section instead. The recovery was not fun and I was on a lot of drugs and little sleep. But I was just happy she was there.

How long did Hallie live? 

4 and a half days. She passed away 12:30 am on Christmas Eve morning.

How was your time with her?

Our time with Hallie was too fast. No time would have ever been enough, though. We loved on her every possible second. I'm pretty sure I didn't sleep hardly at all. It was hard, but I was so thankful to have people surrounding me that loved me and went through this with us. 

What choices did you make for your baby while she was alive regarding medical intervention? 

We were not sure the extent of the condition of Hallie's heart. We had an ultrasound done on her heart to see that. Once we found more out, we made the personal decision not to operate. It was incredibly hard, the hardest decision I'll ever make, I am sure of that. No amount of preparation mattered.

What did you choose after her death for memorials? 

We chose to have Hallie cremated and had a memorial service a couple of weeks after she passed away. We wanted to heal and get through the holidays and not rush anything. 

What supports did you have in helping you make these choices?

You know, I mostly had an online support. It was hard to talk in person about these things. I did have a friend who lost a baby and she was a HUGE help. None of the choices we were having to make were fun, easy, or light hearted. It was hard, but we wanted to honor Hallie as much as possible. We understood there was no "right" way, just what worked for us. 

How long has it been since you held your sweet baby?
It's been almost 26 months since I held my dear, sweet, precious baby. And smelled her baby smell.

Where are you in your grief journey today?

Some days I am not sure where I am on my grief journey! I am doing well, but I just have come terms that I'll always have a hole in my heart. My rainbow baby was a huge blessing. Julianne is not a replacement, but she is a daily reminder of Hallie. In good and hard ways. But mostly in sweet ways.

What advice would you give to other bereaved parents?

There is no "right" way to grieve. Everyone is different, every situation is different. Just be easy on yourself - give yourself grace. Cry when you need, but get support when you need it. Know that even when you feel like it, you are not alone.